Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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