i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
