YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
