That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
