I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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