you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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