what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We need to get me chipped asap
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
