Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
