i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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