curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
