I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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