Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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