Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
