walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize