Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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