The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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