I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
