just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
