Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
