Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I have aggressive nipples.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
