If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
