There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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