just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
