It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize