so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
