so that wasnt chicken after all
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
