I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
