Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
