Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize