I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
