my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
