My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
