i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
