our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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