I bet he comes in French.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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