everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
