i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
