party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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