there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
