yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize