I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
