like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
