Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I have surprise drugs for everyone
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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