we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
