just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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