I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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