Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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