ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Randomize
