she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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