even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
