as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
