We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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