Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
