Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
