im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
