i think my tv is drunk
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He better not be in your backpack
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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