Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
