She's JV to your varsity
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
